“Say thank you.” This phrase is one I had heard many times growing up. It was ingrained in me that every time someone did something nice for me or gave me something; I was to say thank you. But, was I really thankful? We all know it’s common courtesy to say express gratitude for the gift you may not have wanted or the help you may not have asked for. It’s a way of showing respect and having good manners.
I know many people will say that they don’t have to be grateful for all the things they are given and it's wrong to lie if they aren’t. After all, lying is a sin, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we just say thank you because isn’t it the thought that counts regardless if we are appreciative of the gift or aid?
In today’s world it is so easy to be focused on ourselves and what we feel in the moment. We often complain about so many things and lose sight of the things we should be grateful for.
We don’t like the advice therefore we are going to complain about it even though we asked for it. Instead of thanking the person for the advice, pondering it and then doing with it what we see fit; we often times make a big deal about it because it didn’t meet our preconceived opinions. We nit-pick the gift given behind the givers back because… well, they should know what we like and don’t before gifting us something. We ask for help but then get angry when the person helping doesn’t do it exactly how we want or would do it.
Does any of this sound familiar? We tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. It’s in our human nature. In fact, several scientific studies have been conducted on this very subject of negativity.
“Research has shown that across a wide array of psychological events, people tend to focus more on the negative as they try to make sense of the positive”- Very Well Mind- Nov. 13, 2023
“Humans have a tendency to focus on the negative things due to a cognitive bias known as “negativity bias”- Quora- June 25, 2018
So, what do you do then if you aren’t grateful? What if your heart just isn’t in the thanking mood and you keep focusing on the negative? What if all you have are complaints and no gratitude? What if your situation is so bleak that there is nothing to be grateful for?
The better question to ask is, what does the Bible say about being grateful?
The Bible has quite a lot to say about gratitude actually.
In Ephesians 5:20 God says to “Give thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18 states to “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Psalm 118:24- “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 107:1- "Oh, give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for His steadfast love endures forever.”
I could keep going but there are so many to list. Basically, the Bible commands us to be thankful. To express our gratitude. It doesn’t matter what the outcome or situation, we are to be grateful. But how do you find gratitude in a situation when there is nothing but bad things happening possible?
That’s a good question and one that you will have to do some soul searching for. In each situation there are positives, you just need to find them. For example, recently my best friend of 12 and half years passed away. Now, when I say best friend, I mean my cat. The best fluffy friend I have ever had.
She was my emotional support pet; she was my snuggle buddy and she was also my kid’s favorite animal on the face of the earth. She suffered from asthma for four years along with kidney failure, arthritis and a recently diagnosed cancerous lump. Now, if I had all the money needed to aid her at my disposal, I would have gotten her every treatment possible to ease her suffering and prolong her life. Unfortunately, I didn’t have those kinds of finances and I was only able to help her within meager means. She passed away quickly one Monday morning and shattered our world. Our family has felt incomplete without her here. We all still have moments where we greatly miss her and have emotional breakdowns. She was an amazing friend and there will never be another cat like her. Now, I could focus on the negative of the situation. I could just wallow in my grief and get mad at the vet for being so expensive and at God for taking her from us. Instead, I choose to be grateful that I had her at all. I got to experience 12 and a half years of unconditional love from an amazing fluff ball who put up with three cross country moves, two little girls dressing her up as a princess all the time and countless vet appointments for shots to help ease her asthma symptoms. I am very grateful to God for the time we had with her and the love we received.
With everything in life there are the good and bad. We have to find the good and be grateful. Even if there is only bad, the Bible commands us to be grateful. Let’s say you are going through tough trials right now (hopeless situations). It seems like there is no silver lining, nothing good will come of it and its literally all doom and gloom. A very hopeless situation. Even then, we are to be grateful. God may be taking you through some things to teach you something, to remove you from something, or to bring you closer to him. Whatever it may be that you are dealing with, know that God has His hand on you and He loves you. That right there should be reason enough to smile and be grateful.
One thing I like to do when I can’t find something to be thankful for is I look to the Cross.
The number one thing I am grateful for is what Jesus did for me on that Cross. The suffering He bore, the pain He endured, the torture that He experienced, His separation from God in death and reuniting with His Father in resurrection reminds me of just how blessed I really am. I was chosen and set apart by God. He loved me even before I was a thought to my mother and father. He died on a cross for my sins, paying a debt that He knew I could never pay and all He asks for in return is my love. The gratitude that I have for just that act of love and kindness far outweighs any situation I need to dissect to find a positive from.
So, I encourage you today to find something to be thankful for. Even if your situation is so bleak that you cannot find the positive, look to the Cross. In my own life I have been in situations that I don’t want to be grateful for anything. I didn’t want to find the positive. I felt hopeless and depressed and just wanted to wallow in my self-pity. However, once I changed my mindset and started looking at all that I have to be grateful for, I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That light may be a very long ways away and may take some time to come fully into, but trust me when I say it is so worth it to make the strides towards it. It all starts with a positive thought and finding gratitude will get you there.
I dare you today to start a gratitude challenge. For the next 30 days keep a journal. Each day write down 10 things your grateful for before you go to sleep at night. The first few days, maybe even the first week or two may be hard; but as you continue to search for things to be thankful for, you’ll find that you have much more to be thankful for than you initially thought. I sometimes come up with triple the amount of the goal I had set.
So, why do we need to be grateful? Well, it changes our dark and hopeless mood into a more positive and uplifted one. It can remind you of all you have and it makes you a happier person. It’s also an expression of good manners. Lastly, God commands us to. The next time someone gives you something that you don’t like or offers advice you don’t agree with; remember what God commands us to do. When you find it hard to be grateful, just remember the cross and offer prayers of gratitude to the one who unconditionally loves you. Trust me, you’ll start to feel better, complain less, and your situation just might seem more bearable.
“The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26